When I was in fourth grade, I dreamed of becoming a President of the Philippines (kids normally don’t realize what they are asking for) so I studied hard and strove to be number one in the class. By sixth grade up until high school, boys started to bother me even in my sleep (somebody should have taught me a word: “puberty”). I realized that beautiful girls get all the boys’ attention (yes, even that of my big crush) such that becoming a beauty queen outweighed the presidential dream.

But I thought hey, there’s a “question and answer” portion in beauty pageants, and that was probably among the reasons why I started to attract attention. I became a common face on stage in our town plaza through my active participation in singing, quiz bee and stage plays. As if that was not enough, I extended my exposure via paper just might. One day on my third year, I just found myself worrying about article deadlines, publication lay-out and content planning as our school’s editor-in-chief. I probably overdid the beauty queen preparation that I received the “salutatorian” crown upon my high school graduation.

The unintentional academic record that I gathered enabled me to get into a good school in Manila by college. Once here, I noticed that people didn’t care about dreams as much as they do care about making a living. Stable stream of money was such a big deal here. It made me doubt about the stability of a career that will be offered by a beauty queen status (okay, I think I wasn’t thinking enough at that time). Better to focus on my studies.

Shortly after graduation, my classmate and I wondered what if we try it out in Dusit Hotel as resident lounge singers (we both love to sing so much that we would have been willing to do it for free, actually). After all, the manager there happened to be our teacher in Hotel and Restaurant Management class and she was welcoming to look forward to our resumes. On second thought, both our parents disapproved of this move, to which we eventually obeyed them. After all, our BSC-International Business course did not prepare us for our singing career if ever.

My classmate and I parted ways after graduation. I heard that she took on the family business (true to her Chinese blood) while I pursued a career in research. I recall that there was a time we promised ourselves that once we get lots and lots of money, we’ll stop working, buy the most high-tech music component and sing to our hearts content. I was going overboard and told her I would go to Brazil, probably have a day job but by night, I should be singing and/or playing the grand piano in a classy hotel lounge and give life to mellow jazz classics.

Fast forward to a marriage, a son, and 40-pounds heavier at present, these dreams are now lost in the everyday routine I face in troops. I still sometimes catch my mind drifting away my office desk towards those leftover dreams until I’d get bothered by a phone call or a staff needing something to be approved by me.


One of the hardest and tightest spots that a person can be faced with is to choose which decisions to delay and which ones to act upon as soon as possible. Should I go for this now or can this wait for later?

The reality is that every decision we make brings a one step closer or farther back to where we can be. However, one doesn’t realize it until he or she is beset by the consequences of his or her choice much later. Isn’t that amazing?!

“Would you have been happier if Almighty Yahweh granted your desires?” My honest answer would yes although the spiritual in me believes that wherever and whoever I am right now is the best. I believe I should have no room for regrets. No father would withhold anything good for his children. What more our Heavenly Father?

“I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet.” – Indian Proverb

“Are you happy?” is a question in present tense that no one has dared ask me yet. I suspect that if someone ever did, and considering everything, my answer would still be yes.